I wanna passion pit in your ass
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
