In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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