went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
