we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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