why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
