i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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