You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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