she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
