We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
