I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
