there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize