Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize