I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
