You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
