We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm always down for nudity.
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