"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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