when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ttyl tear gas
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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