I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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