I'm going to jail i love you
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
