So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize