Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
