I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
