Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
