did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
