You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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