I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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