I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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