I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
