there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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