i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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