So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
