Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
COCAINE IS GR8
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize