I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
What drink are we having for lunch?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
