I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
