I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
