It's Friday. Sex?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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