I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
