The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
