so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
