i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
