Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
