I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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