I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize