Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
