Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
