there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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