does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
