Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
