one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's always time for handjobs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
