That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
