remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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