my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
