Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
