rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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