im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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