Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
