I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
