guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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