TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
