so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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