I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're so nebulous sometimes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize