He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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