omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
