so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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