Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
